Nerd Alert!!!

If you have yet to notice, I am a nerd. I go out of my way to find additional resources to learn, I actively attend trivia nights whenever possible, and I loooooove reading.

However, if there is one thing that can equal instantly being ostracized in today's society, it is nerdiness. Throughout high school and my time as an undergraduate, I struggled to find a place where I felt accepted for being ME. I joined groups like quiz bowl, but also played sports in high school. I knew my peers avoided me because they thought I was "too smart" and "too uppity" for a simple, small-town high school. Goals and aspirations beyond which party to attend next weekend were not their forte. I knew that if I did not escape the area, I would regret never chasing my own dreams.

The problem was, I did not know what those dreams were. I simply knew that I did not want to be like all of the girls I knew - sweeping the front step of a trailer with multiple kids underfoot, hoping that my boyfriend/husband/man of the moment would come home and not be too grumpy from whatever slight had occurred at work that day.

I thought that going to college would help me discover my purpose. I truly believed that a change of scenery, different people, and an environment where individuals are encouraged to succeed would greet me. False. It took a lot of work for me to feel connected at my undergraduate institution. Despite serving on the executive cabinet of Student Senate, I certainly was not connected to my peers. In classes, I often felt as if I were a solo unit, hoping to simply make it through. College challenged me to learn and grow, but I never felt accepted for being myself.

I ultimately found a single organization where I could blossom, grow, and be myself. I think it was simpler to be myself since the organization was virtual for the most part, with three conferences per year bringing delegates together. I was able to apply my desire to be more sociable with my love of helping others, and served a year as the chair for recruitment and retention. The next year, I chose to challenge myself in a new way and served as the director after being elected by my peers. It was so refreshing to finally find a place where I belonged.

With this, I thought that my connection in a regional organization would easily transfer over to a love of housing. My current GA position as a Residence Hall Director has been challenging, a struggle, and full of learning moments. In this experience, I have realized that my passions lie in the administrative moments as well as the moments where you simply get to be with students and live. As I search for a new GA position, I know that I have lived up to my own expectations, but have ultimately discovered another area where I do not "fit".

So...why does any of this matter?

Quite simply, I have been fixated on the concept of transition for some time. In my transition from one student leadership role to the next, I firmly advocated that one should leave their successor in a place where they could readily access the materials necessary to succeed. Additionally, I believe that it is important to continue to provide encouragement and show that despite leaving an organization or department, you still care about their success.

Insert the "nerd alert". I discovered - through Facebook, of course - that Dr. Nancy Schlossberg will be speaking at the New College of Florida in April. A mere four hours away, I could not rest until I found out when Dr. Schlossberg would speak. I have been able to apply her transition theory in particular to my own life, and being able to hear the theorist bring the words to life is impossible to bypass. Unable to find information on the college's website, I resorted to emailing Dr. Schlossberg directly, resigning myself to the possibility that I would not receive a response. I  may have...okay...did scream a mere two hours later when I had a response. A little bit of persistence goes a long way. :)

Taking time to chase what you believe is right for you is important - while you may struggle, not enjoy the task, or find that you do not fit, you can never know until you try. Life is full of transitions, and it is important to embrace the possibilities that are available.

You believe in your own destiny. Now chase it.

Environment can play a huge role when it comes to what you believe you can do with your life. In the movie Rudy, his family belittles and pokes fun at his dream to play football for Notre Dame. His peers are often torn between support of his passion and derisiveness as to how single-minded Rudy is when envisioning his future. His teachers urge him to consider other options and work to talk him out of his dream, because they do not believe that he has the academic marks to belong at Notre Dame.

Despite being faced with disbelief and the constant pressure to give up his dream, Rudy is truly relentless in his aim. Every possible factor plays against Rudy in fulfilling his dream to play football for Notre Dame. Rudy refused to let his environment impact him.

Rudy's enthusiasm began to slowly inspire and change the minds of others around him and he showed that not only could he dream, but he could work toward a dream despite the numerous hurdles and roadblocks set up by individuals who laughed in his face. The pressures of continually pushing oneself toward a dream despite the odds are not to be taken lightly, and those who were close to Rudy as friends and confidantes took the time to nurture his dream and show him that at no point in time was Rudy alone in his aim.

The few clips I viewed also started thoughts in my own mind in relation to my own blossoming career in student affairs. When I decided initially to search for positions during the fall of my final year in college, a number of individuals were not supportive and told me that I would never find a job and that they would do everything possible to ensure I would not find a place for myself in student affairs. Thankfully, I had a great support system and mentors who helped me through the process of conducting a successful job search, but it was disheartening to know that the individuals who were theoretically invested in my personal development did not feel that their support was necessary or would have been valued. Perhaps there is a chip in the shoulder that will remain - as well as a soft spot for those who take less traditional routes to student affairs - but overall, I know that without internal motivation, few things are possible.

A bit of reflection, Take One

Hi all,
For those that don't know, I'm the 'perpetual student'. There is something about being a student that I cannot get away from... ;)

Every now and then, I find an assignment worthy of being posted on my blog, and here is another one that I hope creates some personal thought, fond memories of your own school experiences, and the strength to realize that simply because you may not be in school, you never stop learning, growing, or loving. Skip this if you're not interested in learning my thoughts on theories, or read it if you think you could possibly perhaps be interested in theories (I don't mention any specific theories currently).

Theories.
I'm firmly in the camp that believes a theory is going to be difficult to remember until you can see it in action or directly relate it to a moment within your own life. Learning a flood of theories meant to help understand the college student has plunged me into a sea of reflection on my own college experience...and some of these theories would have been good to know a few years ago to know that "life's greatest tragedy" was simply a phase.

I also tend to reflect upon the experiences that my students tell me about in the trust I have developed as their hall director. Most of the students who talk to me are those who have been in my office to complain, gripe, or otherwise tell me that their college experience is being hampered by (visitation, the lack of a personal bathroom, their HORRIBLE roommate, the thin walls, someone who smells bad, etc. etc. etc.). It is so rare for me to hear a positive story from a student that is a resident.

Back to theories.
It's not that I don't respect the decades of work that went into the development of each theory created to better help those working with college students understand college students. No two college experiences are exactly the same (although I think everyone should have the opportunity to storm a field and tear down a goal post to carry through town...) but there are general concepts, such as the era of personal growth that students go through as they matriculate.

I understand the theories that I have seen students live out in my office or the theories that I can connect to personal experience. Hearing about theories through a lecture setting doesn't do it for me - but that is the struggle of the educational experience.

One thing that my students have worked to do in particular is "acclimate" me to the South. When you are transplanted to another region of the country, there are a few learning curves regardless of how 'developed' you believe you may be - the struggle is real.

In a nutshell, I am still seeking application. There are so many things the classroom experience can provide, but it is difficult for any instructor (and to think I almost did end up a teacher!) to be able to personally apply every lesson directly to each student without intimately knowing the life experiences of each student. Perhaps this is the motivation of my friends who teach young children...

Do we use the word 'friend' too loosely?

On occasion, I have the opportunity to spend vast amounts of time in solitude. These opportunities can be exceptionally productive, or I can laze about and pretend that there is someone else who is going to pick up after me later...hush. A girl can dream.

This holiday weekend has proven to be one filled with plenty of time for reflection since I have not physically seen a person I know in the past 24 hours. Considering the fact I live in a residence hall with 200ish students, this is an impressive feat otherwise known as "sequestered in my apartment with the doors locked". I did venture out to a convenience store, where I had my only verbal conversation of the day with the cashier, who was impressed that I brought my own bag to sack groceries (ahem: junk food).

So...about this concept of friendship.

I do have friends in Valdosta. Acquaintances, good friends, and a few friends who know quite a bit about me. However, one of the things about moving halfway across the country for grad school is that you leave the people who know you best behind. Sure, social media and video chatting can help make the distance bearable. However, being able to Skype with a friend is nothing in comparison to the ability to sit together in silence and simply bask in one another's company. The random decisions and adventures that come with having your best friends close at hand are now relegated to memory.

The door of opportunity is not being ignored. Rather, the importance of being able to make sure that I do not forget who I am in a new setting motivates me to continue to ensure strengthened bonds with friends I hold dear.

So how do you choose whether or not to call someone a friend? What meaning do you attach to friendship?

Why I despise resolutions...

The faith of individuals at the end of December always amazes me. The symbolism behind putting up a new calendar, starting a new year, and making resolutions has always seemed rather...pointless.

• What makes you think having a new planner to write down what qualifies you as "busy" is going to make 2013 any better than any previous year? 

• What makes you believe that the "new year" is going to be completely, irrevocably different than any year you have experienced? 

• Why do you wait until January 1 to enact these resolutions? 

• Do the superstitions and traditions associated with 'ringing in a new year' truly make a difference when it comes to how your year will go? 

Personally, I have yet to understand why such a fuss is made over the beginning of a new calendar year. As such, I tried something different and far from what one would expect a New Year's "bah humbug" individual such as myself: I went to a party. I had the little kazoo. I surrounded myself by individuals who were excited and ready to bring in this new year, to accomplish their new dreams, and to challenge themselves to their new resolutions.

It did not rub off.

I still think people are nuts.

Twenty days into the new year, part of me wants to laugh as people lament the fact they are already slipping when it comes to their resolutions. The opportunity to make a difference in their own lives, and zero motivation exists. It seems ridiculous to expect that overnight, your personal habits and motivations will change.

If you want to make a resolution to change, the first thing you have to change is your attitude. No other changes will occur if you remain mentally indifferent to what you have recognized as "resolution-worthy".

Obligation versus Motivation

Sometimes, when I look at a blank piece of paper, I start to wonder why I feel obligated to write on its pages. Why is it necessary for me to take notes? Why do I need to take the time to have little words remind me of what I need to do? Are these things important?

The obligation - is it to myself? Is it to others? What motivated me to search for a job to be a hall director? Was it my passion for leadership, or rather the fact that I wanted to take my unique skill set into a position that most people told me I could never do?

As you can tell, my life has been full of questions since the last time I blogged (which was far too long ago, truth be told).

A blank piece of paper holds its charm and promise because it can be filled with any information one deems necessary, with any type of handwriting. Anyone can take a blank piece of paper and give it a purpose. A sheet of paper can also be adapted to different shapes, complexities, in order to fit the needs of the moment. Sometimes you need a paper airplane so your thoughts can soar. Other times, you need a ball so you can hurl your ideas for quick impact. Origami gives an individual multiple options beyond those listed above.

A blank notebook also bugs me. I feel obligated to write on its pages, to give the notebook purpose. The little words to remind me of the giant tasks add up, and each week, I take the time to write out a new to-dominate list in my yellow notebook. These things vary in their level of importance, as well as where I place them on the list. Some are for class, some for my job, and others are for myself. I try to dedicate at least a quarter of each page to items I believe will help me calm down, feel more centered, or simply gives me the opportunity to have some solo time.

Not all of these things are important to me. Some of them are important to others. Some are items that I feel obligated to do, or am obligated to do because it is a condition of a contract. Others are added to the list because I try to also recognize others and show that I value their presence in my life.

Speaking of contractual obligations...the one question I have been asked over and over: Why did you want to become a hall director considering that you have never been a Resident Assistant?

Why not? With the unique experiences that I have pushed myself to aspire to, attain, and then leave a legacy completing, I have never told myself that I am not capable and that I do not possess the skills necessary in order to be successful. While that may be the logical path that most take, that does not mean it is the right developmental path for everyone. I believe I bring a very different perspective to the table as a result of my past experiences.

I always will have a passion for leadership. I push myself to do more, be more, and seek more from others who are part of my life. The position you hold does not matter. What matters is that you care, and you help others to find their niche where they too can make a difference in order to continue to change their world into a better place.

Go Your Own Way :)

I'm happier than I have been in a very long time. Honestly, I think this is the happiest I've been since I started college.

There.

Despite the very random experiences of the past few days of my life, I have to say that overall, I'm blessed. Unpredictable events? Absolutely. I WAS SPONTANEOUS.

For those of you who know me, you'll know why that is written in all caps. It's pretty significant. I'm not going to pour out every detail of the past few days - I do have my beliefs on keeping private things private - but I mainly wanted to prove that I don't live a rote life.