I'm happier than I have been in a very long time. Honestly, I think this is the happiest I've been since I started college.
There.
Despite the very random experiences of the past few days of my life, I have to say that overall, I'm blessed. Unpredictable events? Absolutely. I WAS SPONTANEOUS.
For those of you who know me, you'll know why that is written in all caps. It's pretty significant. I'm not going to pour out every detail of the past few days - I do have my beliefs on keeping private things private - but I mainly wanted to prove that I don't live a rote life.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Missing Link
Sometimes, you can be the one giving it your all. You can be pushing each and every moment, encouraging others to help, and doing your damnedest to just make it through the day, and someone has no idea.
We all live in our own little bubbles. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in making sure that we take the time to do everything that we look forward to doing, or even those things that we think will help make us more likable.
News flash: it's all bullshit.
The things that truly matter are things that are unpredictable. Compared to a few years ago, I would argue that I have actually become more emotional, although I have worked hard on learning how to mask my reactions. Why? Why should I have to hold back? Aren't my thoughts just as valuable as anyone else's?
Today I listened to someone talk me through this very conversation. A matter of years ago, I was in their shoes, asking the same questions, looking to a mentor of mine for advice. Their answer still resonates with me to this day.
"So often, we get tied up in making sure that we are being politically correct, that we are taking the time to show others that we care about them, that we are taking the time to ensure that we show others their worth. However, 99% of us haven't truly earned that worth. The 1% of individuals who have are generally those who have asked this question, realized that the answers they receive don't satisfy their thirst for knowledge, and then, when they least expect it, discover their answer, for no two people will have the same answer."
Each of us have thoughts that are valuable and deserve to be shared. The difference lies in how we choose to share, how others perceive you and your ways of communication, and most importantly, the satisfaction of knowing that you stay true to what you believe.
The missing link in this instance was confidence in myself. I still do things that scare me shitless, but I grow from them and realize that most of the hurdle preventing me from accomplishing previously was mental and of my own creation.
Destroy your hurdles and gain confidence in yourself.
We all live in our own little bubbles. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in making sure that we take the time to do everything that we look forward to doing, or even those things that we think will help make us more likable.
News flash: it's all bullshit.
The things that truly matter are things that are unpredictable. Compared to a few years ago, I would argue that I have actually become more emotional, although I have worked hard on learning how to mask my reactions. Why? Why should I have to hold back? Aren't my thoughts just as valuable as anyone else's?
Today I listened to someone talk me through this very conversation. A matter of years ago, I was in their shoes, asking the same questions, looking to a mentor of mine for advice. Their answer still resonates with me to this day.
"So often, we get tied up in making sure that we are being politically correct, that we are taking the time to show others that we care about them, that we are taking the time to ensure that we show others their worth. However, 99% of us haven't truly earned that worth. The 1% of individuals who have are generally those who have asked this question, realized that the answers they receive don't satisfy their thirst for knowledge, and then, when they least expect it, discover their answer, for no two people will have the same answer."
Each of us have thoughts that are valuable and deserve to be shared. The difference lies in how we choose to share, how others perceive you and your ways of communication, and most importantly, the satisfaction of knowing that you stay true to what you believe.
The missing link in this instance was confidence in myself. I still do things that scare me shitless, but I grow from them and realize that most of the hurdle preventing me from accomplishing previously was mental and of my own creation.
Destroy your hurdles and gain confidence in yourself.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Whoaaaaa
I've come to realize lately that I had no real idea of what I wanted to do with my life after this year, but after a great conversation with someone who I didn't know a calendar year ago but now would consider someone impossible to live life without, I believe I have a direction! While I don't want to nail down anything concrete yet simply because I am very much so still in the research stage, as well as working on my resume and starting to think about applications and cover letters, I do know that I am starting to be more and more excited about the realm of possibilities that await.
Here's the struggle, though. While it's great that I am starting to really figure out what it is I will do with my future after I finally end my undergraduate student career, I still need to make sure my focus is in the right place. I do have an incredible amount of trust placed in me by students from across the Midwest, and I also want to make sure that I take the time to do what it is that I came to college to do - be academically successful.
I'm not necessarily overenthusiastic about the academic world, but to be fair, I haven't gotten to take a class within my major in nearly a year. I'm discovering that while I do enjoy the topic, I don't necessarily have the aptitude to pursue a career in that area following graduation, and that I need to work toward my passions.
With all of the confusion above, and no real solutions, just rest your minds and know that I have managed to talk myself through quite the number of hoops and hurdles, and as always, my final decisions will not be made without plenty of consultation and understanding of the long-range implications. I am so blessed to have an amazing support network of individuals not only across the country, but even across the globe, and I hope that they can all take pride in helping shape me into the individual that I am today as I begin to prepare for the next crossroads in my life.
Here's the struggle, though. While it's great that I am starting to really figure out what it is I will do with my future after I finally end my undergraduate student career, I still need to make sure my focus is in the right place. I do have an incredible amount of trust placed in me by students from across the Midwest, and I also want to make sure that I take the time to do what it is that I came to college to do - be academically successful.
I'm not necessarily overenthusiastic about the academic world, but to be fair, I haven't gotten to take a class within my major in nearly a year. I'm discovering that while I do enjoy the topic, I don't necessarily have the aptitude to pursue a career in that area following graduation, and that I need to work toward my passions.
With all of the confusion above, and no real solutions, just rest your minds and know that I have managed to talk myself through quite the number of hoops and hurdles, and as always, my final decisions will not be made without plenty of consultation and understanding of the long-range implications. I am so blessed to have an amazing support network of individuals not only across the country, but even across the globe, and I hope that they can all take pride in helping shape me into the individual that I am today as I begin to prepare for the next crossroads in my life.
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