A bit of reflection, Take One

Hi all,
For those that don't know, I'm the 'perpetual student'. There is something about being a student that I cannot get away from... ;)

Every now and then, I find an assignment worthy of being posted on my blog, and here is another one that I hope creates some personal thought, fond memories of your own school experiences, and the strength to realize that simply because you may not be in school, you never stop learning, growing, or loving. Skip this if you're not interested in learning my thoughts on theories, or read it if you think you could possibly perhaps be interested in theories (I don't mention any specific theories currently).

Theories.
I'm firmly in the camp that believes a theory is going to be difficult to remember until you can see it in action or directly relate it to a moment within your own life. Learning a flood of theories meant to help understand the college student has plunged me into a sea of reflection on my own college experience...and some of these theories would have been good to know a few years ago to know that "life's greatest tragedy" was simply a phase.

I also tend to reflect upon the experiences that my students tell me about in the trust I have developed as their hall director. Most of the students who talk to me are those who have been in my office to complain, gripe, or otherwise tell me that their college experience is being hampered by (visitation, the lack of a personal bathroom, their HORRIBLE roommate, the thin walls, someone who smells bad, etc. etc. etc.). It is so rare for me to hear a positive story from a student that is a resident.

Back to theories.
It's not that I don't respect the decades of work that went into the development of each theory created to better help those working with college students understand college students. No two college experiences are exactly the same (although I think everyone should have the opportunity to storm a field and tear down a goal post to carry through town...) but there are general concepts, such as the era of personal growth that students go through as they matriculate.

I understand the theories that I have seen students live out in my office or the theories that I can connect to personal experience. Hearing about theories through a lecture setting doesn't do it for me - but that is the struggle of the educational experience.

One thing that my students have worked to do in particular is "acclimate" me to the South. When you are transplanted to another region of the country, there are a few learning curves regardless of how 'developed' you believe you may be - the struggle is real.

In a nutshell, I am still seeking application. There are so many things the classroom experience can provide, but it is difficult for any instructor (and to think I almost did end up a teacher!) to be able to personally apply every lesson directly to each student without intimately knowing the life experiences of each student. Perhaps this is the motivation of my friends who teach young children...

Do we use the word 'friend' too loosely?

On occasion, I have the opportunity to spend vast amounts of time in solitude. These opportunities can be exceptionally productive, or I can laze about and pretend that there is someone else who is going to pick up after me later...hush. A girl can dream.

This holiday weekend has proven to be one filled with plenty of time for reflection since I have not physically seen a person I know in the past 24 hours. Considering the fact I live in a residence hall with 200ish students, this is an impressive feat otherwise known as "sequestered in my apartment with the doors locked". I did venture out to a convenience store, where I had my only verbal conversation of the day with the cashier, who was impressed that I brought my own bag to sack groceries (ahem: junk food).

So...about this concept of friendship.

I do have friends in Valdosta. Acquaintances, good friends, and a few friends who know quite a bit about me. However, one of the things about moving halfway across the country for grad school is that you leave the people who know you best behind. Sure, social media and video chatting can help make the distance bearable. However, being able to Skype with a friend is nothing in comparison to the ability to sit together in silence and simply bask in one another's company. The random decisions and adventures that come with having your best friends close at hand are now relegated to memory.

The door of opportunity is not being ignored. Rather, the importance of being able to make sure that I do not forget who I am in a new setting motivates me to continue to ensure strengthened bonds with friends I hold dear.

So how do you choose whether or not to call someone a friend? What meaning do you attach to friendship?

Why I despise resolutions...

The faith of individuals at the end of December always amazes me. The symbolism behind putting up a new calendar, starting a new year, and making resolutions has always seemed rather...pointless.

• What makes you think having a new planner to write down what qualifies you as "busy" is going to make 2013 any better than any previous year? 

• What makes you believe that the "new year" is going to be completely, irrevocably different than any year you have experienced? 

• Why do you wait until January 1 to enact these resolutions? 

• Do the superstitions and traditions associated with 'ringing in a new year' truly make a difference when it comes to how your year will go? 

Personally, I have yet to understand why such a fuss is made over the beginning of a new calendar year. As such, I tried something different and far from what one would expect a New Year's "bah humbug" individual such as myself: I went to a party. I had the little kazoo. I surrounded myself by individuals who were excited and ready to bring in this new year, to accomplish their new dreams, and to challenge themselves to their new resolutions.

It did not rub off.

I still think people are nuts.

Twenty days into the new year, part of me wants to laugh as people lament the fact they are already slipping when it comes to their resolutions. The opportunity to make a difference in their own lives, and zero motivation exists. It seems ridiculous to expect that overnight, your personal habits and motivations will change.

If you want to make a resolution to change, the first thing you have to change is your attitude. No other changes will occur if you remain mentally indifferent to what you have recognized as "resolution-worthy".