it happens occasionally. the central beat, the rhythm that causes blood to flow continually through my veins, simply stops. it could be at anytime. it could be anywhere. something that other people find frightening, i find completely normal. why? because i have faith. i believe that even though the beat may stop temporarily, my heart is simply trying to find its own beat. i do have a heart murmur...congenital. for a while, it was questionable whether or not i should have been participating in any athletic activities, although i refused to quit because my syncopation caused others concern.
rather than gliding gracefully with a smooth, steady beat, my heart has been stuck in some sort of jazz rhythm my entire life. one of the most amazing things to me is listening to others heartbeat...the slow, steady, constant beat is something that will never fail to be one of the most precious sounds i have ever heard, simply because it is one thing that i cannot rely upon myself to do.
i've always fibbed when you do the cute little things in class where you take your pulse to find out your resting and active heart rate. when your heart doesn't beat normally, it's difficult to tell how to count. whenever i go to the wellness center [usually for the free salt packets and occasional note for missing class haha just kidding, i'm probably actually sick if i'm going there], the nurses always comment on how odd it sounds. reassuring, right? how do you expect someone not trained in such a field to know what to do if someone who is trained is unable to properly tell and has to call a doctor over for what should be simple preliminary information gathering?
as cher would say, the beat goes on. you know what? she's right.
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