When you think back, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it makes you smile, and sometimes you wistfully think about the people you once were able to surround yourself with and can no longer for a variety of reasons.
Recently, I have been blessed with many opportunities. As I think back and reflect about the path that I took - with its bright moments, the lifelong friends, and the memories that I will treasure - and dig a bit deeper into my memories - the ugly, bitter moments where I thought I wasn't strong enough to even be seen walking to the bathroom across the hall, the six months where I thought I was too ugly for anyone to care, the wrongs that I committed, and the moments where I simply had to cry because there was no other emotion - I realize that it all meshes to create one picture, and that with my branching path, I've been wise enough to create a strong foundation.
Even when I didn't want to really be a part of the world and coexist with people who seemed to have everything from my skewed sense of perception, I never gave up hope. Quite frankly, I was far more okay with upsetting myself that I was with upsetting a friend. While it still bothers me to upset a friend, I've realized that ultimately, I've got to make myself happy.
I can now say that I'm in a place where I don't look in the mirror and want to go back to bed rather than face the world each morning. Yes, we all have mornings like this sometimes. Just not every morning.
Yesterday, for the first time in years, I looked into a mirror and actually smiled at what I saw. I may not be perfect, but I am me.
The journey has been tough, and I know that while I may have felt alone, I have regained self-love.
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