As I lie here in hopes of succumbing to a deep slumber, I think upon the many things that I once cherished and held dear. While this may imply far more than I intend, I simply mean to say that each new experience - and college seems to be overflowing - has made me into a different, more "well-rounded individual".
Perhaps I liked my jagged edges. At the same time, I don't like smooth people. I always feel like someone is trying to pull something over on me. I've got no intentions of slipping my way through life. I want to create those jagged edges that everyone else seems so determined to file away.
Every time I fall, or believe, or trust, I am creating a jagged edge. I give a piece of myself up to someone else, allow myself to be in their care, and hope for something in return. There are those who have received far less than what they have given me, and they have the jagged edges that I desire.
What a confusing mess. It's nearly 2am. The time isn't necessarily the issue, but rather that I'm typing away about a thought, but not a carefully-formed thought. Word vomit, you might say. Regardless, it's imperfect, and jagged.
It's how I wish to be.
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